|JE SAIS QUE TU M'AIME BIEN!!!!!!111
||[Mar. 29th, 2007|03:38 pm]
Please include the link to three applications you have voted on
Please get it up you.
Your name: The Captain
When were you born and why? In a remote part of Scotland, to bring about the end of the world one day ten years from now.
Your Gender? Please Elaborate. Female, except when I'm Jonathon, in which case I'm male. I have a triple bagged condom which I fill with hair gel which gives a realistic but not overly modest bulge and a rather fetching brown wig.
Assuming you were trapped in a completely empty room, what would your hobbies be? I would enjoy such pursuits as dancing to the music in my head, and seeing how long I could go without eating until I acchieved a zen like state of bliss.
Please share with us a compliment that you have received. "You are a cold, emotionless bitch"
Also share with us an insult once directed towards you. "If you cut your hair, you'd look like Annette from RE2."
It’s hard to bargle nawdle zouss. True or false? Absolutely false and I find it morally reprehensible for you to perpetuate such perversion on a family website.
Describe your favourite towel. All my towels are white, because I have obsessive compulsive disorder and everything must be clinical and pristine. I have one red one, and thinking about it messing up the symmetry in my towel drawer makes me twitch.
Have you ever considered taking over the world by playing card games? The thought crossed my mind last Thursday, but I decided that biological warfare would be an entirely more practical way to undertake such endeavours.
What’s your favourite scary movie? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3F6zJpl5xM
Please briefly summarise the plot of ‘Titanic – The Sequel’ as scripted by you. Video footage of the drowned corpses rotting, sped up to last three hours. With an extra documentary documenting how I spent the rest of the £22 million budget on hookers and blow.
The self-destruct sequence has been activated. How do you cope with it? I glare at Jasmine just as she says "Oh, so *that's* what that button was for." Then I kill the tyrant with my sexy beam and marry Birkin.
Would you adopt a funny nickname to impress your supervisor? I'd tell them my nickname was "The Vulture" and when they ask why refuse to elaborate and look shifty.
Why should I buy your cookies and not purchase them cheaper at my trusty supermarket around the corner? Because they are made with grade A cocaine from cuba, and not cut with talcum powder like that shit from the guy down the docks who looks like a rat.
Job interview time! How do you intend to dispose of the other applicants? Biowarfare. It's sheer perfection. Ah, my precious G virus, no one will ever...what do you mean I didn't get the job?
Superhero and saviour of the world – an appropriate choice of career? It's a bit of a step down from my current status, but maybe for a summer job.
Invent an interesting illness worthy of being used as an excuse for your next day off. I have Sharkitis from sleeping with underage girls.
Would you dye your hair to match the colour of your one true love’s shirt? I'd dye their shirt to match the colour of my hair. YOU CAN'T CHANGE ME, STOP TRYING TO CHANGE ME.
Do you consider running off with the priest a legitimate alternative to saying ‘I do’? I consider it an imperative in any matrimonial setting.
What if you caught your partner cheating on you with your future self? Try for a narcisstic and sexy threesome, then get shot down in flames due to my criminal self loathing complex because my future self thinks I'm fat.
Pick some lyrics to describe the favourite food of your ideal partner. DAS IST MIEN TEIL...NIEN! You've gotta have some culture, amirite?
The ideal gift for said ideal partner is of course… My fascist teil.
THIS OR THAT
X or Y? XXX hot snail action.
Power or money? Power, lots of power, megalomania, learning to laugh like Alfred Ashford and eventually cross dressing as my sister.
Paper or plastic? You could eat paper in a pinch.
William Shakespeare or Dan Brown? DAN BROWN IS THE TRUTH AND YOU KNOW IT. AMELIE IS THE DAUGHTER OF JESUS AND FUCK YOU I'M A DRAGON.
Forgive and forget or beat around the bush? Lol...lesbians.
Call the stairs or walk up the elevator? I would climb the shaft (haha@me)
THE THRILLING CONCLUSION
Are you secretly after a certain stamp? If so, please subtly push for it now. Apocalypse please.
And lastly, please post a picture (no larger than 400 x 400 px) of a marine animal of your choice.
He lives in the sea and wants your children.